Because I am a Girl…? !
“Oh why are you so happy? Why are you distributing sweets to all?
Yes, I am so happy because my wife gave birth to a child.
Good news, but this is you second child right? After having first child you did not give any sweets, then why you are giving now?
That is the matter, first was a girl child, now we have got a boy so, we are happier than that!!
“Please do not beat me, this is not my mistake and do not do anything harm to my child, she is innocent, that is god’s decision”. But husband was beating her because she gave a birth to girl child and that was third child he was expecting boy. These are all the very common practices going on around us. Why? If we ask the reason then we will get the only one answer is “because she is the girl”. Like this, before step in to the earth itself a girl is unwanted thing. The ‘Veda, Purana says that “Yatra naryantu pujyate ramante tatra devetaha” means where there is a women there is a existence of goddess and mother is a god, earth is a god. But at the same time the same Veda, Puranas says if a family does not has boy or son then that family will not get Mukti or salvation!
Do not think as this issue is new. It is existing from long back and still continuing. Our great father of the nation Mahatma Gandhi said that “In India when a girl can walk around outside the house alone and if she will come back to home safely then that day is the real Independence day for all”. We know the problem but we are not excepting it and we are not thinking to come out of it. Then where is the problem? What is the problem?
The Girl is the problem. She is burden to her parents, after marriage if she will not give birth to girl child then again she is the problem for family, In olden age she is the burden for son or daughter in law! In the language of commerce girl is an asset or liability? It seems people are treating her as a liability. This is not an assumption, we are experiencing daily. UN figure out that about 7,50,000 girl Children are aborted in India every year. The sex ratio in India is 940 females for every 1000 males. The infant mortality rate is 46.18 comparing to 49.14 per 1000.
“How sad, many girls missing from our country are found buried in some graveyard.. Yes this is because she is a girl. Where the son is growing in a family with lots of love and care, another side girl thrown in the dust bin! Is it justice? Is it equality? Is it development? No. But it is true that parents are preferring sex relative abortion, here if a mother does not wants to do that then also because of family pressure she should agree with that.
“I am interested in study, I am a rank student also but, my parents did my marriage when I was in 16 years old, because they did not offer dowry from my parents so my parents agreed to do my marriage only because I am a girl and they cannot keep me and I am a liability to them. You know why that family did not ask dowry? because this is second marriage for him and he has two children already , for them they need one care taker , so here I am just like a one character where I cannot express my feelings, my needs only I have to work as a labour in that family.” This one of the story of women that I met in during my first fieldwork.
This is not the new issue, but I want to say is women or a girl has not that much freedom to live according to her choice and wish. She should live always with some rigid restrictions. In case of girl from poor family her life is decided by somebody else, having male child is the kind of status or security for future and having girl is just like a feeding of neibhour’e plants because anyway she has to go her husband’s house.
The technology is curse for the girl as since 1970s the technology came for testing and sex-selective abortion by using biopsy, ultrasound, scan test etc. In rural area it has not reached much but they will kill the baby after birth. An educated person also doing the same thing means here where is the awareness. Parents will think about future, whether son will take care of them or not but they want to have son. But we can see the girls are also taking care of their parents. Female feticide and infanticide is not the only issues with a girl, she has a problem in each stage of the life. In childhood while her brother is having good clothes, shoes and books in his hand but in girl’s hand broomstick, wiper, after that brother is going to school, she has to ready for getting marriage. Again she should ready for facing harassment from husband and family in case if she will not give birth to the girl. This is the situation in most of the families. Whereas in India the sex ration is high only in Kerala, rest all places girls are negligible things.
“Women are victims of a dominant family ideology based on preference for male children” this statement is quite impressed me ant it is taken by the article “The Girl child in India” written by Malavika Karleka really the violence against girl child begins even before they are born, foeticide being a case in point. The gender discrimination is quite common. Women are considering as a second citizen in India. This problem is not only in India, almost all developing and under developed countries has this problem. For example in Pakistan and Afghanistan women cannot walk out outside the house without any men or husband, she should cover herself always with cloth she should not show her face to other. So caste by caste also the restriction varies but the girl is suffering ultimately.
In India culture matters, till here many policies came then also the preference to the son exists, it means it is an attitude of the people. The social status of the girl is low so it will result to low economic status also. She should take care of household work, even she has very good talents, creativities in some case good qualification also but after marriage family restrict to go outside and to do work.
In India the feudal system is very common, means the property of the family goes to son after father. The girls who all are abandoning by the house they will become street children or they will become sex workers sometimes they will go for crime. So childhood is the time like a wet mud, It depends on how we are giving the shape to it. The gender ide in South Asia takes in many forms, If parents could not do the sex-selective abortion and they have girl child then the girl become a labour for the family and because of negligence she may become malnutricious and trafficking, dowry deaths, domestic violence, child labour etc. are expected things for a girl. If we take the country the largest population in the world, China there also we can see the same problem with a girl like India. But the only one difference is there now Government family planning policy matters in India the culture matters the most. Per 100 girls born 164 boys in China. In the year of 1978 they adopted the Policy of “ One child per family” , first of all they would like to have a boy so there is an option of to have only one child per family then the policy force then to go for gender test of the child in the time of the pregnancy, so here the Government policy itself negatively effecting to the girl, because to have a girl child is not mandatory and also there is only one option , culture also matters to give first preference to son, any way girl is neglecting. Comparing to the situation of China and India, the China is quite flexible to prevent it but in India it is difficult than China.
It is true that girl is facing problem in every stage of her life, Then who is the responsible? Parents? Society? Policies? Or culture? No, here there is no only one factor is reason. Society as whole is responsible, today 200 million girls are missing in the world means the problem is remaining same. The development of the Country also not possible with only men the contribution of the women also equally important.
One study made in 2005 estimated that around 90 million females were missing in Bangladesh, Afghanistan, China, Pakistan, South Korea and Taiwan and India, the sex-selective abortion is taking major part. India’s census of 2011 says that there is a serious decline in the number of girls under the age of seven.
“Her marriage is not fixing, parents are trying to do her marriage and they are thinking if daughter will cross the age of marriage then they have to give more and more dowry that they cannot offer. But do you know why boys are rejecting her? Because she was working in a call centre to meet her parents financial needs!” this shows pretty silly thing but people commonly has a bad impression on girls those who are working in a call centre, just think to a girl every step there is a challenge. You cannot go far away from home and you should not go for any night duty jobs, you should take care of your siblings, yes I cannot go alone for to have a higher education which is available far away from my home, I have interested to do dance but society has not allow me to go for different programs, I wanted to join army but my parents do not allow me, They do not ask me about my choice for marriage, My husband will not ask anything to me while taking any decision in home, my husband’s parents hates me because I have three girl child, I cannot stay alone in any strange place, I cannot do any holy kind of things up to getting marriage etc. etc. I cannot, I should not or you cannot, you should not.. Because I am a girl, yes because you are a girl!! These are all common echoes we can hear daily. But when it will take end? Atleast we should start from our home to provide equal opportunity to girl except killing the baby child.
Can we hear these kinds of statements from boys? No.. we cannot. Because they are boys. So, let us be a good mother , good father, good husband, let us create a better society equal status for a girl , let us try to bring a situation where Mother Theresa, Kiran bedi, Indira Gandhi , Kalpana Chawla kept their name in a world history and we should proudly say that because they are also girl. More than this everyone should understand girl is also a human being, she is also has heart, feelings, choice, freedom, talent, goal, potential , but we are talking about equality, development without considering these things then we are not eligible to do that.
(Reference: Adam Jones. (2010, February). Genderside watch. Retrieved from http://www.gendercide.org/gwmain.html
http://www.domesticviolenceservices.com/female-infanticide.htm)
halligadde 